Relationships are fun and spontaneous during the honeymoon phase. But for tons of reasons, the longer they last, the more problems couples experience. If you dig deep into the core of the relationship, you will find a lot of reasons why they become toxic or even fail!
Regardless of the problems you and your partner are going through, there is always a solution. Here are five cock-sure ways to handle a relationship in turmoil.
- Rein in Your Anger
Anger is an emotion that everyone needs to feel, but not be. Whether you have a short, hot temper that makes you blow the situation out of proportion, or a slow, fed-up temper, you must learn how to control it.
Otherwise, you will develop a ‘me-against-the-world ‘attitude that will not only mess up your relationship, but also other aspects of your life. If you or your partner has extreme anger management issues, it is best to try therapy, meditation, and medication.
- Find the Root of Problematic Behavior
Does your partner turn to alcoholism or substance abuse when the relationship is tough? Do they act cold or keep their distance when you are having problems? Instead of focusing on their reaction, get the ‘problem under the problem’.
Micromanaging your partner won’t help. On the contrary, it may worsen the situation. Learn to ask use phrases like, “I have noticed some changes and I think it would be best if we…” or “I am feeling undermined and upset when you…”
- Avoid Control, Manipulation, and Power Struggle
When a partner is controlling, the other party is likely to get anxious and feel suffocated. Remember that a relationship is not about who is boss. No one should be superior or inferior to the other.
Once you realize this, you will be able to substitute control with equality and your failing relationship will be as healthy as ever. Instead of one partner feeling like child under parental supervision, you will be the power couple everyone wishes hates to love!
- Always get the Moral of the Story
Arguments and disagreements are healthy in any type of relationship. Sadly, most couples always sweep important matters under the rug or simply agree to disagree. Solving a problem is not enough. You need to improve communication with your partner and know why and how the situation got out of control.
When you know what makes each other tick, you will learn how to handle your trial and error relationship. Keep in mind that it is okay to make mistakes, but not learning the moral of the story is not okay!
- Make Worthy Compromises
A compromise is not helpful if it does not create a win-win situation. If you want to always be right, the best thing is to live alone and avoid getting into any commitment. But if you want a healthy relationship, take time with your partner and bring any issues you have on the table. Then, work together and come up with a system that both of you agree on.
It is fine to lay off and regroup if you can’t come to an agreement. Subsequently, you can seek a professional third-party like counselling and therapy.
Relationships and marriage take a lot of work. But once you are there, you can rest assured that your happily ever after is blissful!